Wednesday night at work a guest came in and decided that he would use his American Indian magical healing powers to cure me of my cold. I was training in the girl who will take over my job once I leave for grad school, and I think this was her first wierdo.

Magical Indian: "You look sick."
Me: "Yeah, I have a cold."
Magical Indian: "You know what you do to get over it?"
Me: "Not much; I have to wait for the virus to run its course."
Magical Indian: "That's bullshit. You go to the north side of a lake and look for mint."
Me: "Oh?"
Magical Indian: "I'm an Indian. Chippewa. I can heal you."
Me: "uh-huh."
Magical Indian: "I have a healing aura. Here." (He reaches his hand out to me and grabs my hand, squeezing it for a few moments.) "There, see? All better."
Me: "Yeah, that's great."
Magical Indian: "You have to have a positive attitude. I don't think you have a very positive attitude."
Me: "Um..."

This guy also told us how if we are lost and starving in the woods the only animal we can eat raw is a porcupine. They are slow so you can club them with a stick. Then you tear the skin with your teeth, but make sure not to eat the guts. In case you guys are ever starving in the woods, this may save your life.